Marriage

Marriage is on my family's mind. All my cousins and close friends are slowly beginning to get married. This has made me realize that people were lying when they said that your 20s were going to be fun. No one told you that in your 20s you'd make some really bad decisions regarding education, friends and people and then basically drown under the stress of not having a job, various skin problems, various other problems stemming from the fact that this bloody law course is not fucking ending and of course the parents. (I think this needs to be elaborated upon):


Indian Parents:

Normally found all over the world (because we are after all lots of people) and majorly concentrated in the Indian subcontinent this is a species with severe double standards and appalling levels of hypocrisy running through their veins. There are certain rules that all Indian parents follow regarding their children and other people's:

1) Try to discipline everyone else's child but your own.

2) Live under constant delusion that your child is the best

and the most important one

3) Parents know best

4) Most in the country believe staunchly in arranged marriage


I find the last point very scary and slightly disturbing. This has me thinking of my days in school in Prague. By that time I was used to being a third culture kid but even then I was as little prepared for the question asked by my class mates as I am now : " So like your parents are gonna find you a husband?". It was high school. I was the only coloured one present. I shrugged and nodded with a sheepish smile. I had no idea what to say. But I was not prepared for what came next: "So they're like gonna pimp you out?!" and certain immature white children fell about laughing. I was quick to defend what was my culture. However, as I grow up, I realize that I think like that too!

Coming from a middle class family, I haven't really been exposed to others, so my perception is shaped by what I've seen growing up. The girls are trained, taught to cook, to keep quiet, dress appropriately and behave themselves. These are qualities that will later be shouted from the rooftops when they get of marriageable age. This is what you are being sold on. There exists such a place as the marriage market. Your entire life, your existence boils down to what you look like and how fast and well you can cook. You may be a rocket scientist for all they care. This brings in the parents. Those people that take you to malls and pick out hideous tops and sweaters for you to try and then look disappointed when you pointedly turn away. I mean people who are not equipped to pick out clothing for you from well stocked stores in hugeass malls are the ones in charge of getting you a life partner. Don't get me wrong, in some aspects parents are quite wise but if picking out a husband is based on a silly newspaper ad then it just shows that either they're being plain lazy about the whole process or the entire country has taken to heart that "hope makes the world go round."

Not one parent of a girl that I have spoken to has said "I know she will be happy." They all said: "I hope she will be happy." Not a single one found it appalling that their child was about to become part of their biggest gambling strategy.

So basically, parents that never allow you to have boyfriends, or go out at night or basically even talk to boys unless its about school work, are completely ok with the idea of spending shit loads of money, getting you dolled up in gold and red and then shuttling you off in some idiot's flower decked car. The idiot you went for coffee with thrice before your marriage (as more times was not seen as appropriate). Upon reaching his house, after the family's done welcoming you and kick in some rice at the door, you will be pushed into a room where there will be a bed. A bed decorated with flowers. An unknown boy's bed. You are supposed to sleep with him (pun intended) on that bed. Because you went round and round around a fire with him. Wow.

I know what my newspaper ad will say: Match wanted for, tall, slim, convent educated girl. Early marriage. Contact P.O. Box no. etc. etc.

This ad describes half of my class in school. I say half because some were really short, although all were of course convent educated. It doesn't say anything about me. It scares me. I am disappointed in the low value attached to some Indian women by their families. Any guy will do. As long as you get married before you turn 28. Any guy will do.