Prescience

We are born with a thousand realizations. In that first moment when we open our eyes and stare at the world the first blink is always that of understanding. Perhaps that's why most of us start bawling at the top of our lungs. We are horrified at the million possibilities and the countless expectations. I'm pretty sure all of us want to go back inside our mother's wombs and simply not be part of that sudden drop in temperature (15 degrees) environment.

When I was small I was told I was meant to do great things because I was born legs first and they were crooked. The fact that my dear mother somehow managed to straighten (and lengthen) them convinced a few people that I was different. I believed it too for a long time. I saw it in certain things that happened while growing up. I became from one of the stupidest children in any room to a person who could hold conversations and get good grades. At some point along the way I stopped being the ugly duckling of groups. I never realized any of this until I started looking back.
Every single day a thought flits into my already very crowded head. I think it's all the realizations I was born with that are gathering up every moment that I am older. I wasn't born coiled up like a spring on the inside. And today I feel that all of my realizations knew that too.

music

main tennu samjhawan ki
na tere bajo lagda ji
tu ki jaane pyaar mera
main karaan intezaar tera
tu dil tu yoon jaan meri

i really really like rahat fateh ali khan.. there's something about the way he sings that makes me experience a state of catharsis.

Not mediocre

I have exams... And I'm not worried. Because something else is taking precedence. Something that consumes me from the inside out. Sometimes it meekly walks away. Sometimes it snarls and keeps up the torment. Somehow it is always there. These days it's a little insecure...seeing as I am winning.
They told me to write it down. They are stupid people. All of them who claim to understand. To feel and to know. It is always one against the world. Only the world doesn't want you to know that anytime soon.
These days I have dreams of those that I never saw before. Atleast not clearly enough.
I am thankful. For today I have made up my mind to live. To push and hustle!
I'd lost the faith. I thought someone took it with them. I had lost it. Not the faith though...